What?

You ask me to come over to do your homework ?
You wanted to bring me to the market but you just slept?
Ask me to stay for one more day and for what?
Maybe I shouldn't be here
Maybe I shouldn't be messing with the balance
It's different, it's changing.
I hate change

There are some things you will never forgive, and you will never forget.
that person who was so close does something totally unexpected. what are you suppose to feel but disappointment and anger. disgust. hatred. embarrassment. the list goes on and on and it doesnt even cut it. no point giving excuses because you are the wrong doer. the immoral one.
i would like to burn every single picture i have with you.
i would like to get rid of every single memory i have of you.
i would like to have no relationship with you.
i would like to kill myself because i have a relationship with you.

i dont even know if im shivering from the cold or from the anger. no fucking respect for this establishment, for any one but yourself. condemn to hell forever and ever. you dont deserve anything from any of us.

college, it was amazing.

it really was amazing, and i know that im not the only one who thought it was amazing. i honestly would not have thought that i would meet my bestfriend and many good friends there. it was so short, and how could you foster such friendship within such a short period of time? its crazy.

i met my best friend
i met my good friend
my friend met his best friend
my friend met his good friends
my friend met the love of her life.
it was a mere few months, but all these amazing things happened and it changed our lives.
i cannot express how crazy that experience was, but for me, it was mad

i can safely say that things are finally look up for me.

I always tell people that its awesome to have an older sibling because they take care of you. coming from an older sibling myself, i think i do a pretty good job at taking care of my sister. but ive never had to opportunity to experience what it was like to have an older brother until i met this guy.

Mr J, thanks for being such an awesome brother to me. you really take good care of me and you're always honest about everything.
you tell me i need to change myself, and always ask me to experience new things (though some arent quite what i should be doing).
i'm not afraid to tell you anything because you always tell me to give it a shot and you'll know if you like it or not.
you make me feel comfortable even when i think im doing something wrong and you always make it okay.
Thanks alot, i really appreciate the fact that you're always there for me. people always say blood is thicker than water but i can tell you this, mutual understanding overrides blood. my blood brother doenst come close to what me and Mr J share. I love my brother, Mr J.

xx

Just heard news that someone i know has just passed away. not close, just accquaintance, same age. suicide they said. was quite shocked cause he didnt look like the sort who would. then again, how do they look like? those who intend to commit suicide. and the obuturies said '-- was called to be with the Lord..' and i thought it was abit stange. Technically he wasnt called. he decided to go. but enough about that. what really happens after death? do you get to listen to music? what do you do? then here on the mortal world, you leave people mourning for you. of course you wouldnt want it but its inevitable right? and on his FB page people wrote of their stories with him, and how he was a friend and then it sunndenly hits you that he would never know what these poeple wrote right? quite sad in my opinion. The wake of destruction death leaves.

do you realize when something bad happens to you, your first instinct is to deny or to admit BUT find excuses for yourself? thinking about it, i do always find excuses. at the first instance you never admit to your wrong but hopefully after awhile, you come to terms with it and realize that it actually is your fault. whats done has been done, might as well own up right?


a suddenly feeling of shame over came him, as he looked into the mirror and looked at an unfamiliar face only to realize that the man in the mirror was himself.