Thursday, June 23, 2011
fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
i feel none of the above but somethings stirring inside. it's making me nervous? like i said, i cant put my finger on that emotion. (low EQ. HAH!) all the questions start flooding my mind.
what if i:
- fall at a turn?
- forget to wave?
- start before the actual pass?
- dont have enough time to complete my first pass?
- fall over a buoy?!
thousands of people are gonna watch me embarrass myself. maybe the fear of being laughed at for falling (at a turn) is too great for my poor heart to take. SISSY PANTS.
i will sing a song and all will be okay.
'God will make a way, when there seems to be no way,
He works in ways we cannot see'
i hope to bring good news back. until then, let the pounding of my heart calm myself down.
1:48 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
have you ever had to train for a competition?
have you ever had to face the stress coming from the competition?
Qn: why do people like to compete?
Answer: im not too sure myself. i think its stupid.
people go through all the stress of preparing for the competition, and then compete to see who is the winner. whats the point in that? so what if you win? so what if you lose? im not using a sore-loser's view to write this. im coming from a perspective that thinks that competition against others is honestly a waste of time. especially if its a sports group, a team game. WORST. the stress comes in, you get pressured by your team mates to do well ya-da ya-da. is it so important to win?! can you just back off. you dont have to show whats inside, as long as you know what youre doing, thats fine.
whos the winner?
me?
or me?
1:03 AM
Saturday, June 04, 2011
studying is tough. with what im doing now, you either do it or you dont, you either make it or you dont, you either say yes or no. LAW. people cringe at the sight of it. i guess my direction is pretty clear now, but is it a little late to realize? hopefully not. i'm faced with mixed feelings when i study my law modules. enjoyment and resentment. its enjoyable, it really is, but its so hard to understand. maybe im just not cut out for this kind of things. i guess i'd be better at a more hands on job, perhaps road sweeping. there issnt anything wrong with that, a legitimate job, keeps the place clean, whats wrong? in the public's eye however, a road sweeper/cleaner is beneath them. JUST BECAUSE they work in an office. JUST BECAUSE. what snobs! have you ever seen office workers look at the cleaners when they accidentally touch them? as if they have leprosy or some crazy disease. why not for a change thank them for clearing the plates some inconsiderate person didnt bother to clear? its nice to feel appreciated. in any case, im faced with a bunch of uncertainties that i really dont want to face. as it comes, as it goes.
laying in the sun and getting some peace,
i remember simplicity just as it is.
while the summer breeze brings me a kiss,
i remember simplicity just as it is.
as simple as that.
12:37 AM
